I’m an animal lover. Plants, too.
My children were raised in something of a zoo. In addition to dogs and cats, we had rabbits, ducks, chickens, guinea fowl and turkeys. We had millipedes, hissing cockroaches, salamanders and newts. We bottle fed an abandoned raccoon before returning him to the wild. Our collection of fish, sea monkeys, and turtles included a small snapper my daughter named “fluffy.” We had a chinchilla, a hedgehog and ferrets. Snakes, hamsters and guinea pigs. And, then there was that pair of nasty geckos that only my son would handle – with leather gloves.
Of the many dogs in my life, I most fondly remember Queenie and Zeb. Queenie, a Llewellyn Setter was a great childhood pet and an equally marvelous hunting dog, bobwhite quail being her specialty. Zeb was as devoted of a companion as anyone could ever want. Once, after getting into it with a porcupine, he trustfully looked into my eyes as I extracted dozens of barbed quills from his mouth. With pliers. His pain was unbelievable, his trust stronger. Something I’ll never forget.
As much as I like animals, members of my species are more important to me. Given the choice, I’ll sacrifice wildlife for human welfare. Any day. This puts me at odds with many in the environmental movement. It is where we part ways.
Take Switzerland, for example. Residents are no longer allowed to flush sick aquarium fish down the toilet. Unless, that is, they are first euthanized with a “sharp blow to the head, or immersed in water mixed with clove oil dissolved in alcohol.” The country’s animal lawyer, Antoine Goetschel, is suing a sports fisherman who landed a 22 pound pike for taking too long to reel in the fish: cruel behavior, or some such allegation.
This is relevant information.
Before we in the wastewater biz find ourselves on the wrong side of political correctness, we need to work on our terminology. We need to come up with a new way to refer to “wasting sludge.” Sludge, after all, is mostly bacteria – living creatures. Sounds pretty cruel to so casually discuss the death of so many little organisms, don’t you think? Before someone re-labels our work “genocide,” somebody needs to form a committee and give us a new name. Something like “bio-solids recycling.”
I’m suggesting we take the offensive because it will only be a matter of time before Attorney Goetschel and his ilk find out that wastewater professionals use chlorine to KILL filamentous bacteria. If word of this gets out, we’ll be required to establish pre-death chambers with soothing music and nice art work. Or, some such thing.
How about this for a pro-active idea: let’s form a committee to figure out how we perform the proper forensics on aquarium fish that get flushed. I’m thinking we can check them for head blows or traces of clove oil and alcohol. Little fishes that don’t show signs of either can then be delivered to the police for follow-up investigation. Call it our way of stopping animal cruelty.
Okay, I’m kidding. But really!
When, my friends, will the nonsense stop?
Thanks for reading.
Grant